it all started on halloween ... who would've known that such a day sold out to the commercial celebration of costumes and candy would have provided the opportunity to initiate change in life ...
it was a day spent with friends, working together to start a project ultimately to not get anything done ... then struggling to find a place to play ball at, lol ... until the day was highlighted by an intellectual conversation, catching up with an old friend ... others will remember that day from the hole in nam's wall, which was a result of the kind of horseplay that you'll never get bored of ...
to top it all off, the day ended with a midnight meal courtesy of my sister, and a conversation that allowed me to gain insight into my own self ... i realized what i really wanted; i wanted to be in love again ...
the whole month of november was filled the pleasantries that allowed me to realize what life was worth living for ... through my friends - the guys - i was able to realize the potential i could find in them, to enjoy life ... as jeffrey bogues would have put it: "men only have two feelings - hungry and horny. therefore, men should not have any excuse to become all moody unless these two feelings have not been satisfied. and trust me, all men have to worry about is being hungry" ...
it was those times when we would cruise in dan's car after lunch, play ball after school, or just end up chilling at nam's house, that we would be the happiest ... aside from the threat of falling behind in our units and failing that always loomed over our heads, time with the 'guys' was like a return to nature ... if Voltaire believed that humans were more good when they were closer to nature and being closer to civilization made them more evil, then it was time with my friends - my buddies; the guys - that i found the tranquility and serenity of my life at that time ... away from the drama of romantic situations, there was nothing that could have gotten our spirits down ...
two weeks ago i realized that indeed, the end of the world was coming ... metaphorically of course ... ever since CSUNA, it had been prophesized that the end was nigh ... the signs were just too incredible ... how could it be possible that so many of my friends found the happiness in romance that we were all seeking ... much too many of us received good news, and much too many of us were having too much fun and just we just too happy ...
we met new people and made new friends ... indeed, this was a new chapter ... drama of the past had been completely resolved ... and now started another part of our story ... in amidst the chilling weather, the bitter cold - as the world froze over and began a slumber in a deep winter night - it was as if, in my mind, we all started a new life ...
looking back now, at just two years ago ... our lives then, were completely different from our lives now ... and thus truly i had known, that we all - in some way - had started a new life ...
now if this story was about the events that led to the end of the world, its climax was at CSUNA ... if it was actually about the end of the world, the climax would have been last weekend ...
jason lee had a hot date, and so did jon ong ... half of us attended a dance at an all girl school where one of us was proclaimed their god ... the other half of us congregated at nam's house just to chill, until we all got together at the end of the night to get pissed drunk and hammered ...
after getting kicked out of sarah's garage, most of us ended up at nam's again to either fall asleep or watch porn ... in the morning we went for dim sum, and i left to meet someone at the mall ... the meeting wasn't very pleasant, and i ended back up at nam's again, where i swear to god i witnessed a miracle ...
if st. john saw the end of the world after an encounter with an angel ... then i truly had experienced the same as i was trapped in the awe and wonder of what i had witnessed ... it was unbelievable to find such divine beauty against such incredible odds ... the conditions were perfect, the encounter was beautiful, and the result had left a warm sensation in my chest ... one which i had not felt in a long time, one which i had been longing to feel ... the one thing i that i longed for
yet i am haunted by questions of its reality ... critical cynicism surrounds this situation at every angle that it almost seems impossible for it to be true ... but yet i can feel that it is real ... call it faith, call it hope, call me naive ... but how can i ignore it? how can i pass this up, when it is the one thing that i've been longing for? ... i can only pray that this is real, but the only other thing i can do, according jeffrey bogues's ideals, is to 'just be happy, and just have fun'
